If you want to see underage characters’ underwear either learn Japanese or make your own games

I’m so sick of hearing about “SINSORSHIP!” of video games when talking about localization of games for English-speaking markets. Localization changes have literally happened since the 80s during the NES era, if not sooner. Nintendo used to be known for removing any reference to any type of drugs, including alcohol and cigarettes, to removing anything remotely religious like crucifixes.

But I have a message to all the people crying about it, and it is the message they have been sending me for a long time “Toughen up, and if you don’t like it make your own games, or buy different games.” Also, instead of crying about it, if underage females’ panties are so important to you, learn Japanese, import or hack your console to make it region-free, and play the game “as it was meant to be” as you say.

Like for real, shut the fuck up with this constant crying and outrage, it is practically all you do. This never used to be a thing till the internet became a thing, and now you have people like “CENSORED GAMING” on YouTube who practically make a living off of seeking out things to be outraged about. Things that mostly involve creepily looking up the skirts of virtual tweens, or vagina bones, because that is a real phrase that came out of a real person’s mouth as they got outraged over the ‘removal’ of them.

After literally decades of not being represented in video games, and still having maybe one or two characters that even remotely resemble me (chubby / large pansexual bearded guy) anytime I speak up about this I’m dogpiled by people that want to censor my voice, want me to shut up, want me to just “deal with it and grow up,” and so on. Well, take your own fucking medicine, you sad, little, perverted man-children. At least I’m trying to get things changed for the better, you just care about seeing the underwear of children. Sick.

SINsorship: Pokemon Sun and Moon ruined by SJWs

My new series SINsorship pokes fun at all the people who rage about localization changes (mostly dealing with female objectification / sexualization) while showing just how ridiculous their arguments are.

The Top Upcoming Games I Personally Hope to Get Censored

Recently I’ve been told time and time again that I’m personally responsible for the localization changes made to Fire Emblem: Fates by Nintendo of America’s Treehouse team. So I’ve decided to take my newly discovered superpower for a spin and list some titles I hope to get censored.

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Street Fighter V

I know what you’re saying, “But Dr. Dinosexual aka Jed, isn’t Street Fighter V already out?” I mean, technically you’re right, but you’re also wrong. The game was released with many features missing such as Arcade and challenges modes. Since the game isn’t finished, there is still time to get things censored, such as the oversexualized costumes for Laura and Mika. You’re probably already composing an angry tweet saying something along the lines of, “BUT WHAT ABOUT SEXY RYU!?” Listen, when I can see as much ass meat of Ryu as I can of Laura and Mika then you have a point; otherwise hush.

Doom

Across most every trailer for the upcoming Doom reboot, I’ve had the same complaint: I hate the piss filter, and I hate the constant kill animations. Bethesda has taken notice and has removed or at least toned down the yellow filter; the kill animations are still found in the latest trailer. While the kill animations are themselves cool, the amount of time they take away from the action seems excessive; especially considering the campaign reportedly takes around 16 hours. Those few second animations will quickly add up; perhaps that is why the campaign will take so damned long. So Bethesda, ID, cut this shit out.

Great Detective Pikachu

I seriously can’t wait for Great Detective Pikachu, especially if Nintendo does what it knows it should do and hires Hollywood superstar Danny DeVito to voice the lead. One thing I could do without is the cat calling seen in the above video. Is it really family friendly to depict Pikachu as player who harasses women on the street? Come on Nintendo.

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The Legend of Zelda Wii U

The Wii U is dead, and its corpse shouldn’t hold back the next game in the Zelda series, which is why I’m suggesting Nintendo cancel the Wii U version and move all development to a graphically superior version for their upcoming console codenamed the NX. Don’t pull a Twilight Princess and hold your console back by releasing its big game on the previous console, come out strong with the NX with an exclusive Zelda.

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Tom Clancy’s The Division

Watch the above GIF. Keep watching it. Does it make you happy? Are you laughing? No? Why not? Don’t like to see defenseless animals gunned down in the street? Me neither. Ubisoft, I realize animals exist in real life and can be gunned down, but in real life humans don’t take tens of bullets before they go down; maybe you could cut out murdering dogs which adds nothing of value to the game.


I look forward to all these changes swiftly being made so we can all enjoy these games as they should be, censored to my liking. I’d like to thank these billion dollar corporations for giving such weight to my words and acknowledging my power and impact in the gaming community. Now, if only Sega would listen and stop making Sonic the Hedgehog games.