Recent Pokemon GO changes make the game even more like the main series, so stop crying

With the recent update of Pokémon GO Niantic removed the feet icon from beneath monsters, a feature that only worked around the first week of launch that allowed players to have an idea of how far away their intended target was. Then today sites used to cheat and see where Pokémon spawn have been shut down apparently at the request of Niantic and Nintendo.

Now everywhere I look I see people outraged that they can no longer see footprints or cheat by using external websites and honestly, you’re all fucking casuals. A tried and truePokémon player would recognize that this only makes the game more like the core series. Now instead of relying on websites to spoonfeed you the location of creature spawns, you actually have to wander around and hope you stumble upon one, just like every other game in the series; also how the game has been played in every country since release except the first few. Niantic realized it didn’t need this feature to be successful.

I guess ‘only 90’s kids remember’ that?

What has been known as the ‘three steps bug’ has been around for some time, meaning you’ve been playing the game this way anyways, so what is the big deal? You still can find creatures by watching to see which is closest to the top of your tracker as far as I know, which means it is even easier than the core series.

Now I know what some of you will say, “But Jed, in the games creatures only spawn in certain areas of the world.” You’re correct, and it is the exact same thing in Pokémon GO, as certain creatures only spawn in certain regions, and many parks spawn the same Pokémondaily. If you’re near water, then water based monsters spawn, which is just like in the games!

Don’t get me wrong, I understand why you’d be upset over a feature being removed from a game, but it still plays exactly the same, only now you can’t cheat. So stop being casual, start wondering around more, and try not to get shot. Protip: it is harder to catch Pokémonwith tears in your eyes.

The men of Craigslist attempt to capitalize on Pokemon GO’s popularity to have sex

Sometimes I like to stare into the abyss known as the personals section on popular classified ads site Craigslist. I’m not sure why I do this to myself because I always walk away disturbed. On a recent visit, I couldn’t help but notice the new hot trend is to mention Pokémon GO when trying to find someone to fornicate with via the casual encounters section. Typically these posts are by men looking for women to play the game with before, during, or after fucking, but there were some gay posts here and there.

On my most recent excursion, I did what any professional games blogger would do and screen capped a few of these ads from all over the world to share with you. Get ready for foul language, puns, blurred asses and dicks — one of which is just the reflection of it in a toilet that looks full of piss with a Pikachu on the rim — and of course, the one that particularly disturbed me, a 55-year-old man talking about finding a Pokémon in his pants.

Click here to see the full NSFW gallery.

If you want to see underage characters’ underwear either learn Japanese or make your own games

I’m so sick of hearing about “SINSORSHIP!” of video games when talking about localization of games for English-speaking markets. Localization changes have literally happened since the 80s during the NES era, if not sooner. Nintendo used to be known for removing any reference to any type of drugs, including alcohol and cigarettes, to removing anything remotely religious like crucifixes.

But I have a message to all the people crying about it, and it is the message they have been sending me for a long time “Toughen up, and if you don’t like it make your own games, or buy different games.” Also, instead of crying about it, if underage females’ panties are so important to you, learn Japanese, import or hack your console to make it region-free, and play the game “as it was meant to be” as you say.

Like for real, shut the fuck up with this constant crying and outrage, it is practically all you do. This never used to be a thing till the internet became a thing, and now you have people like “CENSORED GAMING” on YouTube who practically make a living off of seeking out things to be outraged about. Things that mostly involve creepily looking up the skirts of virtual tweens, or vagina bones, because that is a real phrase that came out of a real person’s mouth as they got outraged over the ‘removal’ of them.

After literally decades of not being represented in video games, and still having maybe one or two characters that even remotely resemble me (chubby / large pansexual bearded guy) anytime I speak up about this I’m dogpiled by people that want to censor my voice, want me to shut up, want me to just “deal with it and grow up,” and so on. Well, take your own fucking medicine, you sad, little, perverted man-children. At least I’m trying to get things changed for the better, you just care about seeing the underwear of children. Sick.

Preview: ABZU Combines Journey and Ecco

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming,” I happily sang to myself, making my way through seaweed and surrounded by 10,000 fish in the beautiful Abzu.

The graphical stylings of Abzu may seem familiar to anyone who played the critically acclaimed PlayStation exclusive Journey, as the art director of that game, Matt Nava, is the lead of this project. Both games also share a composer in Austin Wintory, and a genre, as both are linear story-driven exploration game. However, this is single-player only, underwater, and coming to PC as well as PS4.

While story details were scarce in the short demo I played, I was able to spy some paintings that alluded to the origins of the humanoid character I was playing as. At first glance, you might think she is human, but no humans I know can swim fast enough to jump out of the water like a dolphin or communicate with fish. Plus, my demo ended with me entering a giant alien looking underwater structure. I was certainly left intrigued and wanting more.

Read my full preview here.

Review: FRU

I remember being excited about the original Kinect launching for the Xbox 360, back when I worked in retail. Our store even had a midnight opening for it, which was a rarity in those days.

Since then, I’ve played a majority of games released over the years for the device on both Xbox 360 and Xbox One, from the fantastic bowling in Kinect Sports (which caused my mom and grandma to buy Xbox 360s), to dancing my ass off in Dance Central and Just Dance, to the downright awful Fable: The Journey and Commander Cherry. Heck, I’ve even played completely unreleased games such as the Xbox 360 version of Crimson Dragon that I managed to get my hands on. I don’t know why, but I’ve been obsessed with Kinect since launch even though most of its games suck raunchy balls and taint with a bit too few teeth for my liking.

So my words should hold some weight when I say that FRU is easily the best traditional game ever released for the tech. Unfortunately, it also has the worst timing — it seems Kinect is all but officially dead as the upcoming Xbox One S revision requires an additional cable to even use it.

Read the rest of my review here.

Review: Monster Hunter Generations

The monster hits of Monster Hunter.

Monster Hunter Generations features locations and monsters from all across the series, as well as some new favorites to boot. On top of that, you’ve got additional ways to play—different hunter styles, hunter arts, and Prowler mode where you can take control of one of your Palicoes. If it isn’t obvious, let me make it clear for you: Generations is the best game so far in the Monster Hunter series and is a great place to start even if you have never played any of the others.

Previously Monster Hunter was known as the grind-filled action RPG where you hunt and kill giant monsters (read: dinosaurs, dragons, and giant ancient beasts) to collect their body parts, which are then used to make better weapons and armor so you can fight even more monsters. While the main core gameplay is the same, I have never felt like Generations is a grind, as Capcom has simplified things a bit for the better.

Read the full review here.

Review: Rhythm Heaven Megamix

Rhythm Heaven is a first party Nintendo IP that has been around since 2009, spanning over four games across four different consoles, yet I imagine most gamers wouldn’t be able to tell you the first thing about it. Heck, I’m a huge fan of Nintendo’s IPs and I haven’t done more than sample the series until now, but that’s okay because Rhythm Heaven Megamix combines all of the best parts of the old games into one colourful, over the top, portable mega mix.

For the uninitiated, Rhythm HeavenMegamix is a like a combination of a music game and a WarioWaregame. That is to say, it is a series of short, extremely random mini-games that has you pressing only a couple of buttons to complete, with each game only lasting a two or three minutes tops. Unlike most games in the music genre, you won’t find an easy-to-follow icon letting you know when to press buttons, instead, you’ll have to time your button presses to the music and zany visuals on the top screen. The bottom screen serves only to let you know whether or not those button presses were on time.

Read my full review here.

Monster Hunter Generations Tips ‘N Tricks for new and old players alike

Monster Hunter Generations is officially available in North America and the UK, and it is easily the best game in the series in my opinion. I mean you can play as cats, what could be better than that?

Generations mixes up the formula a bit with having many familiar locations and monsters, so here are some tips you should find useful whether this is your first Monster Hunter or tenth.


Buy a circle pad or a NEW 3DS for better camera control

While you can play Generations without having a second circle pad or the c-stick of the NEW 3DS, it is certainly frustrating. Your options will be limited to tapping on the monster on your touch screen and mashing the L button to make the camera pan to it, or using a virtual d-pad. Ask yourself, have you ever enjoyed using a virtual d-pad more than a controller? You can snag the circle pad for the original smaller 3DS on Amazon for $11.98 and the circle pad pro for the XL for $10.88, well worth the investment if you ask me. If you’re feeling like dropping a few extra bucks you can get the NEW 3DS with its c-stick, which I feel like controls a bit smoother and you get the benefit of better textures and much faster loading, among the other benefits of the handheld such as eye-tracking 3D, faster downloads, and SNES virtual console games.

Try out the weapons till you find one you love

When starting the game you’ll have access to one of each of the 14 available weapon types in your inventory and if you’re like me you’ll just pick the strongest one, but that may be a mistake. Each weapon controls vastly different, so take the time to do some of the training missions for each one till you find the one that fits your play style. I personally ended up going with dual blades and ariel style.

Mounting monsters made far easier by using ariel style

The newly added hunting styles all have different benefits, and on paper, it sounds like ariel may be the worst as it offers less of the new special moves called hunter arts, but I didn’t find that was the case. Ariel makes your dodge cause your hunter to jump into the air. If you dodge into a monster while using aerial you’ll leap high into the air, which is the perfect time to start attacking. If you aim for the back of the neck you’ll often be able to mount the monster and rodeo it till it is stunned, allowing for massive damage from you and fellow hunters.

Palicos are a hunter’s best friend, make sure you have two

Early on you’ll unlock the Palico Ranch which is just to the right of the starting town. If you go there and talk to the Meowstress you’ll be able to hire palicos. Make sure you have two by your side at all times as they not only help you take down the monsters but heal you and gather items along the way. The Monster Hunter series has a reputation as being grind heavy, but by maximizing on palicos you can mostly avoid that.

Meownster Hunter before every hunt

Meownster Hunter is unlocked with three-star quests and allows you to send out four palicos on a quest gathering pieces of monsters, as well as various other items that can be used for crafting whether it be for you or your felyne friends. These quests play out in a mini-game that has you shooting a puck out of a canon in an attempt to land on circles on the board that represents the different drops available. The easiest way I found to make sure you hit the spots is to think of the power meter as how far away from the bottom of the board you want the puck to land, with half way being the top of the screen. By doing this I was easily able to get many pieces I need to craft armor without grinding.

After each quest use the palico dojo to allow your furry sidekicks to rest to regain enthusiasm by selecting catnap under special training. Have a stable of palicos that you dedicate to Meownster Hunter alone.

Eat a meal before every hunt

In each town, you’ll find a felyne that will cook you a meal granting both you and your palicos bonus stats and effects. Make sure to eat one before each hunt, and always try to pick the one that raises your defense against whatever elemental effect the monster may use. Also, always pay for these meals with the in-game currency of zeeny, as you’ll be using your points for Meownster Hunter and some optional unlockables available from the felyne in your house.

Tetsucabra’s armor provides a ton of early defense

You’ll come across the Tetsucabra in the three-star quests, and it’s armor easily provides the most defense you’ll find in the first half of the game. It is so good, in fact, that I used it to the very end of the single player campaign. It should be easy enough to acquire if you follow my palico based tips above.

Key quests to advance

Want to quickly reach the ending of single player? Then you need only to complete the following quests in each ranking, and the urgent quests that follow them.

One-star rank:

– Find the Ferns
– A Fungal Hunt
– Wipe Out!
– Another Pack Attack (given to you by the Meowstress on Palico Ranch)

Two-star rank:

– Rambunctious Rhenoplos
– Gendrome Roadblock
– The Land Sharq
– Hermit Grab
– Slay the Velociprey ( Kokoto chief request)
– Hunt Down the Velocidrome! ( Kokoto chief request)
– Slay the Giaprey! (Pokke chief request)
– The Mountain Roughrider (Pokke chief request)
– Bye Bye Jaggia (Yukumo chief request)
– Arzuros the Azure Beast (Yukumo chief request)

Three-star rank:

-Stomping Grounds
– Crustacean Frustration
– The Desert Gourmand
– Tumultuous Sprouts
– Local Threat
– Into the Wyvern’s Den (Kokoto chief request)
– The Shadow in the Mountains
– No Go on the Popo (Pokke chief request)
– Royal Spit Take
– A Forest Fracas (Yukumo chief request)
– Current Events
– Robbed Blind

Four-star rank:

– Serpentine Samba
– Wrath of the Rathian
– Crustacean Infatuation
– Lurkin’ in the Murk
– Hungry Eyes

Five-star rank:

-A King, Robed in Smoke
– Fight or Uragaan!
– The Fisherman’s Fiend
– The Unwavering Colossus ( Pokke chief request)
– The Entrancing Water Dancer (Yukumo chief request)
– The Thunderclaw Wyvern (Kokoto chief request)

Six-star rank:

– Tigrex by the Tail
– Dark Wings, Dark Work
– Tuff Turf
– A Thousand Scales of Dread
– Brachydios Mio!


Use all of these tips and you’ll be a certified bad-ass in no time flat, slaying monsters left and right with ease. Now go young caterpillars and become the monster murdering butterflies you were born to me.