I got my dick destroyed in Outlast 2

The original Outlast had a nice combination of jump scares and actual horror; someone would pop out and scare you, before giving chase as you ran away and hid from them. You’d hear footsteps, breathing, and see enemies stand inches away from your hiding spot. It was terrifying.

While there are things that lead me to believe the same kind of tense moments will exist in Outlast 2 — such as lockers to hide in — I did not experience any of these in the demo I played today at PAX East. Instead, most of my time was spent walking through linear pathways waiting for a cheap jump scare to happen and outstay its welcome before fumbling around trying to figure out which door I would open next to escape.

Check out my full preview of Outlast 2 from PAX East here.

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The Elder Scrolls: Legends is a brown, clunky, cash-in of a card game

Bethesda seems to be on a streak of trying to cash-in on already saturated markets. First it was The Elders Scrolls Online, and now it’s the Hearthstone-like card game, The Elder Scrolls: Legends. Publishers can’t help but see the amount of money that World of Warcraft and Hearthstone rake in and not want a piece of the pie, but they don’t understand that everyone has already had their fill.

Legends had its first gameplay revealed just before PAX East 2016 with the announcement of a beta, and I was excited. I love The Elder Scrolls, and I love Hearthstone, so maybe this would be my new addiction?

Sad to report, that most likely won’t be the case.

Read my full impressions of my hands-on PAX East preview here.

Review: Albino Lullaby: Episode 1

Too many horror games and movies these days rely on jump scares as their only real source of fear. While there is nothing inherently wrong with that, they really are cheap and easy. Recently there has been a resurgence in media of actual horror with notable films such as The Witch and It Follows coming to mind, but games, on the other hand, have mostly stuck to jump scares.

Albino Lullaby doesn’t resort to that. In fact, I’m not sure it has any scares at all. If anything it’s like Tim Burton and David Lynch had sex in a funhouse; amusing to look at and creepy.

Read my full review here.

MLG and Valve could do more to get women interested in Counter-Strike

In keeping my word of continuing to go to MLG events, I recently went to the Nationwide Arena in downtown Columbus, Ohio for the first Counter-Strike: Global Offensive Major in America, which was also the first to have a prize pool of $1 million thanks to Valve bumping the pot up from $250,000.

While there, I noticed the event was a total sausagefest, and I’ve been thinking about that ever since. There are things MLG and Valve could do to get more women interested in both eSports and Counter-Strike, but perhaps the organizers just haven’t considered them. Luckily, I’m here to remedy that.

Read my full opinion piece right here.

A non-hipster walking simulator for Cliff Bleszinski

Yesterday, famed game designer Cliff Bleszinski — famous for creating Jazz Jackrabbit and the Gears of War series — decided it was finally time to give Firewatch a play.

Just 15 minutes in, Cliff quit the game and tweeted, “Yeah I respect the devs of Firewatch and don’t mind walking sims but it is entirely too hipster for me, not gonna stick with it, sorry.”

People quickly took offense to this and let Dude Huge know about it, to which he politely responded, “Some overly sensitive Lena Dunham Brooklyn beard wearing types are, like, gonna unfollow me now over my Firewatch posts. FUCK OFF.”

But Cliff also wanted his followers to know that he is a sensitive guy with real feelings, noting, “I keep an open perspective on all games. Cibele drove me to tears. Firewatch bored me. Deal with it.”

Yeah I respect the devs of Firewatch and don’t mind walking sims but it is entirely too hipster for me, not gonna stick with it, sorry.

What I’ve gathered from Cliff’s Twitter is that he wants a walking simulator that is as mainstream as possible. So without further adieu, the most mainstream walking sim ever created, just for you, Cliffy B:

See the mainstream walking simulator right here.

Will Battleborn be the next Shadowrun?

At the beginning of 2016, I listed Battleborn as one of my most anticipated titles (as well as Fable Legends, RIP) and after playing the open beta I can easily say it still is.

If you’re not familiar, Battleborn is the game Gearbox Software founder Randy Pitchford described as “FPS; hobby-grade coop campaign; genre-blended, multi-mode competitive e-sports; meta-growth, choice + epic Battleborn Heroes!” What that bukkake of buzzwords was supposed to tell us, I’ll never know. What I do know is that this is a hero-based multiplayer first-person shooter that is one partDestiny, one part Borderlands, and one part MOBA; with two modes that feel like totally different games.

Read my full impressions of the Battleborn beta here.